The people that you surround yourself with and the relationships that you invest your time into will shape your high school experience. During your freshman year, it is very likely that you will make new connections, strengthen old ones or go through changes within your relationships. Being open to meeting new people and being aware of the challenges you may encounter will allow you to sail the wide open (but sometimes choppy) waters of social life in high school with ease.

As you enter into new relationships and assess your existing ones, it is helpful to remember that you have a huge influence on how successful and meaningful your relationships are.

It is first important to reflect on your own qualities and understand what you bring to the table. American author and motivational speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer has a famous saying: “You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.” Following this logic, the friendships you form in life are a reflection of who you are and how you interact with those around you, not the friends you dream of having.

MTHS teacher Nicole Eshelman also explained that how you treat others has a big influence on the people that will want to be a part of your life.

“Be the friend that you want to have— be trustworthy, be available, be generous with your time and be forgiving,” said Eshelman.

Whether you see positive or negative traits reflected in your relationships, understanding this connection is a good chance to evaluate yourself. For example, if kindness and generosity are traits that you value and embody, you are more likely to be surrounded by people who possess those same qualities. On the other hand, if you find yourself having low-self esteem or lack conviction in your values, you may not have the confidence to stand against your peers if they are doing or saying things that you don’t support and that don’t align with your authentic self.

This reflection may lead to change within yourself or those who you associate with. Deciding what relationships to invest your time, energy and love into might look different for everyone. Knowing what characteristics that you want your friends to have is important to making sure your community is a good fit for you.

Senior Cole Richards shared what he values in his friends.

“The types of friends I prioritize are the ones that I share the same morals and values with. It is also important to have a mix of friends in all groups, but definitely fall back on the friends that make you feel valued,” said Richards.

Maybe you like to have friends that share the same interests and perspectives as you. This is completely normal and common, but it is also healthy to keep an open mind and seek friends from different backgrounds, social groups and lifestyles, like Richards mentioned. Approaching everyone with an open heart and a listening ear is a skill that will bring so much richness to your life. Being able to talk to and befriend different types of people will allow you to learn many valuable lessons and connect with more of the people that you encounter.

Harper Gingerich, a junior at MTHS, has similar advice.

“Talk to everybody, and be nice to everybody, it’s best to have a lot of connections,” she said.

Like Gingerich said, everyone deserves respect and kindness, and everyone you meet has a story to tell if you are willing to listen. To have a variety of friends with different qualities and talents to offer requires you to branch out and put yourself in diverse spaces and environments.

“Join as many clubs and activities as you can, because you can make connections there, and now’s a good time to try new things,” said junior Max Luu.

It is important that you try out clubs, sports and extracurricular activities that you are curious about. Not only can you learn more about yourself and your passions, but you can meet new people with the same interests as you.

Having friends in different areas in your life will enrich your understanding of others and yourself. It may seem like there is pressure to be part of one fixed friend group, but having a variation of friends is often more fulfilling and in some cases can limit drama and stress. Different people will draw out different aspects of your personality, and being open to different sides of yourself and various types of people will create a more rewarding and authentic experience in high school.

As you are exposed to different communities and personalities, it is inevitable that you and your friends will change. High school is a period of your life full of growth and transformation, and it is to be expected that your own high school journey may take you on a different path than some of your friends.

Gingrich shared her advice on what to do if your friendships seem to be changing.

“If friends start to change, express your concerns, and if they don’t reciprocate, it’s okay to branch out and find new friends,” she said.

It is worth noting, however, that not all change within relationships is a bad thing. Sometimes the strongest friendships are the ones that allow people to evolve and grow together. To determine if the changes occurring within your friendships are positive or not, one of our school counselors, Lydia Cockrum offered some questions that you can ask yourself.

“Is this friend someone who makes me my best self? Am I helping my friends be their best self? Friends are to make you the best person you can be and they should push you forward positively,” Cockrum said.

Ultimately, the people that you allow into your circle should introduce you to different perspectives, make you feel seen and bring you happiness.

Having a solid support system of dedicated and supportive friends will make your high school experience much more enjoyable and formative.

Always remember that relationships are two sided, and the effort and care that you put into a relationship should reflect what you receive back. Finding your community is something that may take time, and is subject to change throughout your high school years. Being intentional, however, about the people you surround yourself with and the type of friend you are committed to being is something that you will value throughout your life.