You probably hear this a lot: the world is extremely connected now as a result of social media and communication technologies that have revolutionized our society. Many could argue that yes, this is inherently true. We now have the capability to communicate with nearly anyone we want on the internet from wherever we are in the world. Statistics vary, but show that over 5 billion people, almost 70% of the population, are present on the internet and most of these people can also be found on social media sites. Social media provides a platform for people to interact with each other in the smallest ways by simply pressing a button to show your admiration for a video or post. It’s easy to somehow make your presence in the world known by posting, commenting, liking or simply interacting, but is that presence one that we want to have? Is the connection that social media has created a worthwhile one?

It all depends on how we make that connection. I have always gone on and off with certain social media. Many of my friends encourage me to download it so that I can continue to connect with them and with other teens in our school. So-called “snapping” on Snapchat is meant so that we can have an easy way to connect with someone. But to me, that isn’t a connection. By definition,  a connection is a relationship in which a person, thing or idea is linked with something else. When people “snap” or like each other’s posts, it’s not real and doesn’t feel meaningful. While this is an arguable point, I don’t believe that there is deep intention behind these interactions. It has seemingly become a mindless habit that we like our friends’ posts and comment something along the lines of “this is so cool,” “you’re so pretty,” et cetera, et cetera. People who I rarely interact with have commented on my posts, and yes, I appreciate it, but I wonder if these people would ever take the time to say something to me in person.

There is a strong potential for social media to form relationships and facilitate interactions, and I don’t think that technology has completely destroyed our connection. Social media allows us to discover people that we wouldn’t otherwise in our communities. The ability to connect with others from different sides of the globe is a meaningful and powerful feat. Articles like this one can be shared or reposted on instagram, allowing more people to see them. We can find groups that connect us with people who have like-minded goals and values, making us feel like a part of a community. These are just a few examples.

However, where I think we have begun to stray as a society is by coming to rely on the brief interactions that happen on social media and technology. We substitute these technological interactions as connections when these aren’t the real and raw interactions that we need as social beings. Yes, it’s always nice to recieve a good morning text randomly from a friend or to have someone “DM” you about something on your instagram they liked, things like that. But we need more.

Humans crave social interactions. In fact, it’s in our biology. We as a species have evolved the need for social connection through the process of our evolution. Connection is a necessary part of a balanced life and is as, if not more important than having a healthy diet, exercising and not consuming addictive substances.

The moral of the story is that social interactions and connection are important. That doesn’t mean just texting your friends, but giving them hugs, high fives, or-consider this- talking with them in a raw and real conversation. Not just “liking” an acquaintance or strangers’ post that you admire, but complimenting them in person. Smiling at a stranger. Telling the cashier to have a good day at the store. Hugging your mom, dad, sister, brother or friend. These are the social interactions that we need. These kinds of connections, no matter how small or how deep and meaningful they are, are the ones that matter. Social media doesn’t always offer that. When you interact with people online, you don’t get the emotion and responses that you would get from an in person interaction. Yes, there can be meaningful interactions on the internet but honestly, it’s rare.

With the growing hyperfixation of our presence and interactions that we have on social media along with concern about the way that people perceive us, the natural art of connection is lost. People so often push the best of themselves out towards the rest of the world so as to not be judged, yet we forget that the flaws are what make us personable. They are what make us unique individuals able to connect with others. So not only are we breaking down the meaningful levels of connection that are so integral to human health and society, but we are also hiding away those parts of us that help us to form those connections in the first place. However, the beautiful thing about connections is that they can be made again and again with small, yet meaningful actions. So, maybe put the phone down, stop scrolling, and talk to someone next to you.